She didn't know me.
I wasn't offended.
I knew she cared about her friend. Her worry and frustrations about her friend's suffering left her angry.
She was angry at anyone and everyone that crossed her path.
I'll consider a Nurse Ratched costume for Halloween in her honor.
Within 90 days, we've been subjected to horrific stories of mass shootings, acts of racism without repercussion, cars speeding into brick walls, overdoses, fires, suicide attempts...when do we get to breath some unpolluted air?
How do we continue to look at the colors around us without painting them with cynicism?
I broke down in my driveway after a tiring day and a bout of bad news. Tears fell for my patient, and they fell for so many other suffering souls across the planet. They fell for my kids. One day they will hear their own stories of terror and pain, and they'll start to see the world differently.
They will be surrounded by a world filled with mental illness, addiction, racism and hatred.
I cannot shield them, and I cannot deny.
I can only hope that my husband and I provide them with the tools to cope and to do the right thing.
I sat at a funeral for one, and read the headlines of another and thought, "They were loved by somebody. Someone fought for them and lost." They are now a statistic, and they are now a wound that will form a scar.
They were good people. What happened?
It's depression and it's addiction. It's hatred and it's fear.
It's ugly and I'm tired.
Our society is perpetuating the very stories and scenarios we grieve about, and we don't really want to do anything to change it.
I've splattered different stories and emotions on this screen. They are all mixed up in my head waiting to be sorted out, and perhaps I thought writing them down would help.
The thing is, we can't wait for healing. There is another story developing, another person suffering, someone else driving way too fast, and another someone swallowing way too many pills.
What will I do tomorrow to make a difference?