I sat on a bench beneath the heights of the Duke Chapel at 5pm. The bells began to chime and I expected white doves to fly from the tower like in the movies, it was that perfect.
I captured a video and a few pictures and then my phone died. I was thankful it died so that I could take in the experience the good ol' fashion way. It started to rain a bit, but I didn't move. I like the rain. I don't see enough of it.
The other nurses took cover nearby, and I told myself I'd join them with a heavy down pour or the first sight of lightening.
I had such peace. The college students scattered like mice and I was surrounded by bells, trees, and rain clouds. It was perfect.
I thought about how romantic it all was and how I was beginning to miss my husband. Then I missed my kids, knowing how they'd like to run around in the rain and listen to the church bells.
Why do we lose or forget about these simplicities? Why do we hustle by them to watch fictitious creations of it on the big screen?
Our perceptions become altered, we become filled with worry and disgust...and it all passes us by.
I look into the faces of these patients and ask myself silently, "Where did it all go wrong? When did it all become so hard?"
If you think it could never happen to you, you are so very wrong. I know that I have friends out there that suffer from sadness and brain illness, and I'm sure there are some that will silently suffer.
At Duke, when a pregnant patient is electing for ECT, the psych nurses from the ECT unit transport the equipment and perform there at the maternity ward. The OB nurses demand that the ECT nurses stay and post op the patient and manage her as needed until they feel comfortable with taking over her care. They pretty much refuse to post-op her because she carries a "psych diagnosis." some pregnant patients have even been moved to the Psych unit! This is shameful to me. How many women have walked into that hospital to give birth and carry a "psych diagnosis," and do not tell anyone. They are not treated any different than the patient next to them. 1 in 5 of your pregnant patients carries a psych diagnosis, but you would probably never know it because they can't really take psych meds due to the baby (hence the option of ECT!), and they are too ashamed to tell you.
I've worked with a pregnant patient that was interested in ECT and trying to obtain medical clearance. Her midwife says, "I didn't even know she was depressed. She didn't tell me."
Wow, I'm so "Shocked."
You want to know another word that starts with the letter 'S'?
Stigma is holding people back from enjoying the simple beauties of life...